Work Jerks
Mr. Weed: “Griffin! Are you sleeping on the job?
Peter Griffin: “No. There’s a bug in my eye, and I’m trying to suffocate him.”
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Frank loved the graveyard shifts as a security guard in the up-market Ambassador Hotel. It gave him the opportunity to attend to all the chores at home as a single parent with two young children. Its not uncommon for Frank to catch ‘forty winks’, but, in his characteristic style. Slumped in his arm-chair at the gate, cap pulled low over his eyes, almost covering his face, right hand in his pocket and left across his chest.
On one of his shifts, at around 2am the GM was on his rounds (usually unaccompanied) happened to notice Frank asleep in his chair at the gate. Annoyed he walked up to Frank and tapped him lightly on the shoulder. Frank took his time, slowly pushed his cap back, stood to his feet.
GM: “Sleeping Frank”?
“No Sir”, says Frank, “Praying”, pulling out his rosary from his pocket!.
***********
Work Jerks
Meetingboy.com offers a running commentary about the workplace. Some of the best:
Thanks for the voice mail about the e-mail you sent. If you send me another e-mail about the voice mail, then we’ll complete the circle of life.
A group of lions is called a pride, a group of crows is called a murder, and a group of buzzwords is called a PowerPoint presentation.
We suspected the boss wasn’t reading things, so we gave him a report on top of ten blank sheets. It came back with a comment: “Looks good.”
Every few minutes, someone joins the conference call late, and the leader brings them up to speed. It’s like, “Row, Row, Row Your Boat,” but more tedious.
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